Thursday, August 30, 2012

Shopping Spree... More like Shopping Spank

I love to shop! 

I am sure most women can relate. Interestingly, I have heard this desire related back to hunter-gatherer instincts. It really does make sense. Women have the urge to gather things= women go shopping.  Unfortunately, my husband is not impressed by my gathering skills and I am usually the one who ends up hunted. 

Before we were married, James and I went through our finances and created a "budget." Considering the fact that I am not very detail oriented, relinquishing myself of this responsibility appeared burden-proof. It did not take me very long to figure out, however, that financial micro-management resulted in the burden falling on my ass. 

At first our new system was great! Forgetting to pay my bills on time no longer was an issue. Clipping coupons became a new hobby. Watching the numbers in my savings account increase at a faster rate than ever before got me pumped. But, as the story goes, my high came crashing down. Thank you Bloomingdale's Friends and Family Sale. 
On a particularly normal day, my best friend, Britney, called and wanted to go to the mall. She and I both have a pretty big obsession with the bath and body store Lush. Our normal routine is to go to Lush and then maybe hit up a store or two on the way out. Once we got there, I remembered the huge sale at Bloomingdales and had to check it out. 

Considering summer was just around the corner, there were definitely a few things I needed in order to be prepared. First of all, I needed to stock up on my make-up. Not only did I have 20% off, Bobby Brown was giving away a free gift. -Obvi. Next, I needed some sunglasses and I could not resist the new fold-up Ray-Bans. They are uni-sex, James and I could share! Of course, there was no way I was about to show up at the pool and beach with the same swimsuit and coverup as the year before, cha-ching! Finally, there it was, the purse I had been searching for. A large white leather Coach purse that was large enough to hold my iPad, a style that would never be dated, and it was understated. You really had to look hard to know it was Coach. (James despises clothing and accessories that have the brand name written all over). 

When it was all said and done, I had saved nearly $200. The bad news... I had spent almost $800. As I paid off my credit card at the customer service desk, the butterflies began. In one hour I had blown through my entire monthly shopping budget. Britney was most likely on her last nerve as I blabbered the whole way home about how much money I had saved and how all of my purchases were necessary. In reality, I was practicing my speech for when I broke the news to my husband. Mentally, I was planning to prepare his favorite meal and get dressed up when my phone rang:

"Babe, did you loose your wallet? Someone made an $800 purchase on your debit card."

"How do you know?" 

"I get alerted if there is a purchase over $500... what's going on?" 

"Well... I was planning on showing you when you got home tonight. Britney and I went shopping and..."

"You're not serious. Do you realize how much trouble you are in?"

Trying my hardest to be nonchalant since Britney was sitting right next to me I replied: "Ok, babe! See you tonight." 

"Hold it young lady, I asked you a question..."


"Yes, what?"

"Yes, sir! Love you, bye!" 

Despite the fact that I was beet red, Britney seemed unaware of my fate. 

Once home, I immediately called James back and started explaining myself. He told me to save it and that we would discuss when he got home. I decided to stick to my plan. I showered, got ready, and started cooking dinner. Thinking that it would help my case if he were able to visualize how much I had actually saved I displayed all of my purchase on the couch in our office. 

Upon his arrival, James kissed me and headed to the office to drop off his brief case. I followed timidly preparing for my presentation. 

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?" He asked somewhat condescendingly as he browsed my collection.

"You see, there was a promotion going on where everything was 20% off and since summer is approaching there were a few things that I needed and this purse- it's gorgeous and will last me forever and I even bought you something- look at these cool Ray-Bans, they fold up!" 

He actually seemed somewhat impressed by the glasses and I couldn't help but notice a smile as he listened to my exasperated explanation. 

"I must admit, you have good taste." 

"Thank you very much!"

"You know that this was completely unacceptable. I am not ok with you making such large purchases without discussing it with me first. You should have picked up your phone and asked my permission and you will from now on. Understood? 

"Yes, sir."

"If something like this happens again, you will be returning all of  your purchases and you will lose your shopping budget for the next month. The only shopping you will do is at the grocery. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good girl. Now go get your hairbrush."

"Oh, please... I know I messed up, please don't use that thing..." I begged. 


Slowly I headed towards the bathroom only to be hurried along by an extremely hard spank. 

When I returned, he made me put on my new bikini. He wanted me to remember the spanking that was about to come every time I put it on. (He got his wish- I do). 

He started off with his hand but it didn't take long for the stinging to begin. I knew there was a lot to come considering he hadn't even started in with the hairbrush so I did everything I could not to squirm or protest. When I was on the brink of tears he picked up the hairbrush and went to town.

"From now on there will be no un-permitted shopping-sprees." SPANK ATTACK

"I'm sorrrrrrrrrry!!!" 

"I don't care who you are with you will call me and if I say no, there will be no arguments." SPANK ATTACK

"Yes, sir! I will call... please stop!"

At this point the tears were flowing and I was starting to do the uncontrollable hand block, which was quickly intercepted as my hands were trapped behind my back. 

"Next time Britney asks you to go shopping you are going to wear your butt plug as a reminder to behave." (He actually followed through on this one- not fun) SPANK ATTACK 


"Understood, Katherine?"

"Yes, sir" I barely choked out through my sobs.

He gave me the ceremonial final spanks to my sit spot and I was certain I wouldn't sit for quite sometime. 

He held me on his lap and stroked my hair as I settled down. Once my tears had stopped and my breathing was back to normal he instructed me to get in the kitchen and finish dinner because he was starved.

As I reached for the clothes that I had picked out especially for him, he looked at me and said:

"Since you needed that bikini so bad, you get to wear it for the rest of the night. Now go." 

Typically, he gave me a motivational get going spank as I went on my way. 

Once dinner was prepared I decided to set us up to eat at the island since our stools have nice soft cushions. James saw right through my plan, however, and moved our plates to the dining table which is surrounded by antique caned chairs. I refer to them as the torture chairs. Just to insure that I "felt it" he gave me a little warm up before we sat down. 

The Torture Chairs look like this

All throughout dinner I squirmed as I sat there feeling stupid in my bikini. He did make it a bit better by complimenting me on my choice and remarking how sexy I was. 

We cleaned up dinner together and then he told me it was time for bed. I was a little annoyed because it was only 7:30 but knew better than to argue. Luckily, he came upstairs with me and we made love. I asked permission to shower before getting into bed and he approved as he headed downstairs to do some work. 

I went to bed that night feeling pretty good! In the past, a shopping spree of that caliber would have left me broke, stressed, and feeling guilty. That night I felt safe. I knew that my husband was going to take care of me and I knew that I didn't want it any other way. 

The next day James came home with a present for me... a small wooden hairbrush. He informed me that the hairbrush was to have a permanent home in my new purse. When I rolled my eyes, he decided to give it a quick trial run. It certainly gets the job done. Luckily for me, he hasn't had to use it since. Nevertheless, it stays in its home. :)



  1. I love the idea of carrying a hairbrush in your purse as a reminder.


    1. It certainly keeps me on my toes when he reminds me that it is in there! Thanks for reading my blog. :)